How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians……..

I hope no one takes offense… :)

How to answer the usual questions asked to Indians…….. Here are the proper answers to awkward questions asked everyday :

Are all Indians vegetarian?
Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.

Does India have cars?
No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.

What does that red dot on women’s forehead mean?
Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife’s red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target….

Does India have TV?
No. We only have cable.

Are you a Hindi?
Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.

Do you speak Hindu?
Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.

Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.

India is very hot, isn’t it?
It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.

Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eat human meat.

Why do you sometimes wear Indian clothes to work?
I prefer it to coming naked.

20 Comments so far

  1. neoflys (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 4:37 pm

    Is this a blog?
    what’s your problem

  2. Krishnan (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 5:27 pm

    And how is this related to chennai???? should be in your personal blog

  3. Kelly (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 5:35 pm

    MY GOODNESS….I was trying to make people laugh…. this is my second experience with EXTREMLEY NEGAVTIVE persons on Metro Blog….What is the problem here?

    We are here to share stories and experiences. No? This is a funny story type perspective held by people not from Indian. Obviously I have learned from living here…but those who haven’t had the personal expereince might not me as knowledgeable about Indian customs.

    And this pertains to Chennai cause ummmmmm…INDIAN PEOPL LIVE IN CHENNAI if I’m not mistaken…

  4. DontheCat (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 6:39 pm

    Hey Kelly, enjoyed it….

    Hey, most of us in Chennai still retain a solid sense of humour…and believe that it can be expressed anywhere.

    And I’m left to wonder why Neo and Krishnan had to take umbrage at this post…hmmmmm…

  5. Anonymous (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 6:44 pm

    Funny post… Please don’t get bogged down by other comments of people who can’t handle some light humor. It’s very nice to read the perspective of a non-native on Chennai. Welcome to Madras!

  6. Ganesh (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 9:50 pm

    Just to reiterate, Chennai-ites do have a sense of humour (although, this wasn’t _that_ humorous, hey but what do I know?). Anyway, isn’t that the point of a blog? Actually, I preferred your other “Shantaram” post to this one…

  7. hera (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 10:12 pm

    i have to admit i have faced these questions though of course my answers were different

  8. curiouscat (unregistered) on March 23rd, 2007 @ 10:27 pm

    LOL!! And I have been asked all of these questions and after spending 3 months answering them in the middle of nowhere in Spain, I was tempted to give some of your answers. And of course…don’t you mind what some rather uptight folks have to say :)

  9. Nilu (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 12:16 am

    Is there a contest here on who can write the mot idiotic post? Why is this bitch allowed to write? Where the fuck is Chandru?

  10. Anon (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 12:21 am


    Did you come up with this. If this is not your original creation give credit to the original author or atleast mention where you lifted this from

  11. ag (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 1:28 am

    @ Nilu,
    Shut u’r trap! don’t hurl abuses in this forum. try to write something witty to counter the post if u don’t like it!

  12. Kokki_jacobus (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 9:18 am

    totally irrelevant post; has nothing to do with the city whatsoever. kelly, i understand that you are a new comer but this is just an email forward that could perhaps find space on your personal blog (as a famous King regularly does!) if you’re from california, check out the LA/OC metblogs – they
    surely don’t feature anything like this.

    i have to admit though, i really enjoyed your first post! hope you enjoy your stay in madras!! :)

  13. annoynomas (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 11:45 am
  14. Anonymlus Hero (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 12:09 pm

    Nilu Thalaiva

  15. neoflys (unregistered) on March 24th, 2007 @ 4:44 pm

    kelly, eat crow!

  16. sj (unregistered) on March 26th, 2007 @ 9:29 am

    Well Kelly I you put silly blogs like this on of course you are going to get a bad response. Your other blog well I wont comment, I don’t really think people ask such questions. Where are you from Kelly by the way?

  17. Chennaiite (unregistered) on March 26th, 2007 @ 9:17 pm

    This post is worse than what Thennavan normally posts. These 2 bring down the quality of Chennai Metblogs.

  18. AB (unregistered) on March 27th, 2007 @ 4:39 am

    Funny blog…but if its not yours, you should have referred the source.
    I think Nilu should be prohibited from posting comments.

  19. SN (unregistered) on March 27th, 2007 @ 12:16 pm

    Thennavan is one of the better posters on the Metblogs. Chennaiite, are you sure you can read and understand English?

  20. Raghav (unregistered) on April 3rd, 2007 @ 10:45 pm

    Hey Kelly,

    Don’t even bother with these stupid jerks, while I agree that this wasn’t really a madras specific post (while the shantaram one was), there are just some people who take offense to anything anyone says.

    Madras is a beautiful city, with (mostly) beautiful people in it. I’m from there, was there almost 20 years, and now am in the US.. missing my city badly. So, welcome to Madras.. Enjoy it, and all the best this summer.. your liking for the city is likely to go down a few notches. the weather is rough! :)

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