Piss, don’t kiss

Thinking of taking things into your own hands in public? Then let it be your… um..ahem…er, rather than your beloved.

Kiss in public and you’re likely to wind up with a bloody nose. So what if it’s just a peck and the lady is your wife of several years. This is a decent society. Respectable. And it says you cannot commit indecencies in public. What example are you setting for the youth of this nation? Huh?

Piss in public, on a vacant wall, and you will be felicitated for having inaugurated yet another common man’s lavatory in the city. A few others will join you. And after you have left, more will continue the good work. Alas, man who drinks water is also a man who must pass water.

So citizens one and all, by the law of the land,
You can unzip quietly and take in your hand
You can do it in public, just do it on a wall,
You can do it anytime, spring, summer or fall.
You can display your phallus to an unsuspecting crowd,
And draw absolutely nothing but an indulgent frown.
But smooch in public and you’ll catch one on the jaw
Our culture don’t allow it, and that’s the bloomin’ law.
So piss, don’t kiss, it’s safer that way
And I don’t blame you for wondering, who made us this way?

8 Comments so far

  1. Ravages (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 11:45 am

    And the story begins here

  2. metoo (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 12:04 pm

    Kiss, can wait.
    But, Piss can’t wait.
    Unless you want to be elected as PM

    Kiss, to enhance your pleasure
    Piss, to relieve your agony

    With or without a Wall, Standing or Squatting
    the relief is worth the 2nd look by passerby

    Kiss, looses the pleasure of intimacy, in public
    doing it to be a ‘wanna be Sivaji’

    Think and decide.

  3. ratan Jhaveri (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 4:21 pm

    Sir Manoj Jacob, good point well put again sir. But I am sure as feloow communications expert you will not object my point out some simple mistakes which can be corrected by paying good attention to limerick.
    1. Crowd and frown is not ryhming.
    2. ‘Our culture don’t allow…’ should be ‘Our culture does not allow…’ Unless you are in US.
    3. Similar point again: ‘bloomin’ is also for cowboys only. Not in Chennai city.
    Otherwise message is very good. It is good you are pointing out the mistakes of youth. Keep it up, Sir. Maybe can convert to song for album.
    Ratan Jhaveri
    Group Head,
    Vishwakarma Communications
    Chennai City

  4. freelunch2020 (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 7:42 pm

    hahhahahhhahaahha…almost the same in kuala lumpur — capital of malaysia. ;)

  5. Sankar (unregistered) on June 25th, 2007 @ 7:52 pm

    That is the state of our society now… you can piss and even S*&T in public, but cannot hug or kiss your wife :(

    Vivek has also touched on the same point in one of the movies recently…

  6. madras ponnu (unregistered) on June 30th, 2007 @ 4:15 am

    Well said! It is not just about kissing your wife in public but a husband is frowned upon, stared upon as if he has landed from space just for trying to buy his wife a swimsuit.
    OK, this is the story. I wanted a particular model of swimsuit, sold in Naidu Hall, not available in any of the stores in US. So, I persuaded my husband to buy it for me during his trip to Chennai and poor guy had to experience his most embarrassing moment in life. This is what went on between the store lady and husband –

    H: Swimsuit kaatareengala..
    SL: Mens aa, sir?
    (He knows he is in the ladies section, mind you)
    H:ille ladies daan.
    SL:mens aa sir?
    H:ille ladies daan.
    Then she goes to the other store ladies and they hold a conference looking at him weirdly and then all he hears is “Ladies du daan venumam!”. then finally they all come together and sell him the product.
    He paid and just took off as quickly as possible. I got a good deal of blasting on the phone today :)
    Why could people not accept that its perfectly normal for a husband to shop for his wife? They make it look so bad and dirty.

  7. sam (unregistered) on July 6th, 2007 @ 7:37 am

    Ha ha ha that is outright funny, why on earth would you send your husband alone for that fact to buy a swimsuit, are you serious you couldn’t find that pattern in the USA. How would you know what pattern it was anyway? Do Naidu Hall advertise in the US know? This is not a western country so of course it looks odd. I don’t like NRI who try and impose there values when they come to India please leave that at your own home don’t bring it here for gods sake.

  8. Thad E. Ginathom (unregistered) on July 6th, 2007 @ 4:22 pm

    Oh, so not buying clothes for your wife is a “value” is it? That’s a twisted view if ever I heard one!!!

    I suppose wives are supposed to dress/undress in the dark, husbands never knowing what is between salwar and skin?

    Thanks for the laugh!

    Ponnu — I enjoyed your story. I went with my wife into a Nungemabakam shop to shop for nighties the other day. Whilst I got the impression that men were not common visitors, they treated me perfectly well.

    I wouldn’t want to embarrass lady shoppers though…

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