Unsafe city?
On Thursday night, at around this time a party hosted by a female call centre employee at her house in Kodambakkam in the city turned nasty. Men invited to the late night party by the girl, whose parents were out of town, began misbehaving forcing the girl to lodge a complaint with the police. She suspected that a male colleague of hers had been kidnapped. The police which investigated the case assured the girl this was not sure and the alleged kidnappers were sent off with a fine.
What appears to be panic by the girl in news reports may not be so. Crime in the city is often associated with poverty. That only the poor murder and maim each other. Often enough, there are reports like this instance when employees of the booming IT and BPO industries find themselves at threat from none other than their employees. Such a situation is to be condemned.
I work in an industry where my female colleagues often have to work late nights and take the office cab home. Often they feel unsafe and find it impossible to reassure themselves of their safety. Offices too are unable to help them, with many bosses feeling that it is not their responsibility to ensure the safety of their staff. Complaints are often dismissed as frivolous and no action is taken.
At the heart of the problem is the issue of sexism. Men in the state and city feel that women simply have no place at the workplace. At the bottom of the hearts, most men feel that women should be at home rearing the babies. Even at work, humiliation in subtle and overt forms is imposed on the woman. No amount of awareness about the issue it seems is enough to do away with sexism. Female bosses are often hated more than their male counterparts. It is time we looked into ourselves to put an end to this stupid quality.
Dont you think that in this case, the girl involved brought herself into trouble, by hoisting party at home at night for male colleagues and added booze to the mix… I do agree on the issue raised but this is a bad example to quote
Ramesh, I disagree with you. What if trouble had erupted at a party hosted by a male colleague for the same reasons? Would you have said the same thing? Just because she hosted a party for her colleagues, trusting that they would not abuse the hospitality, doesn’t make her the cause. The male colleagues who misbehaved, abusing her trust in them, are to be condemned.
Why the day for the party was selected a day, parents her parents were out of town;their the problem started and something smells wrong there;
Why the day for the party was selected a day,when her parents were out of town;there the problem started and something smells wrong there;
Answer Suppumani’s question – suppu, super daa. These pseuds won’t stop – it’s either them or the returned NRIs who have taken over these Metblogs with their frivolous posts.
Something fishy!The irresponsible girl who threw a late night booze party for male friends invited the trouble.There are good and bad people everywhere.
Many young people, male or female, throw a party when their parents are out of town because its convenient. So its not necessarily fishy as Suppamani seems to think. Secondly, she threw a party for her colleagues, not just male friends. Lets not leap to conclusions again and again just because its a girl who was involved. remember it was some of the male colleagues who misbehaved, not her. How does that make her the cause? Just continues to prove the point that we are a very sexist society.And no, we are not NRIs, nor are we pseuds, just concerned citizens with a different point of view.
It takes ‘two’ to Tango or Tangle.
Sometimes more ..
Sorry friend! I agree that we should not be too judgemental.
Well the whole issue doesnt seem to be so much of some gender abuse, but more of a case of alcohol abuse and some inebriated young men trying to make advances to their colleague who participated in the (booze???) party…
Which brings the real issue which we dont care to debate. That is, we as a society are not yet sure how to react to the idea of women boozing. That is the real issue which gets brushed beneath the carpet…
David, you really should stop being idiotic.
Is nt it high time for females to stop having a ‘persecution complex’, and see that not all males are ‘aggressors’?
I agree with Parthasarathy all men should not be categorised, I think males in India and the rest of the world are at the mercy of women, who complain about one thing or the other. If a male throws a party like this he is blamed yet when a female does this and invites trouble someone else is blamed. Lets face it male are losing there rights in India soon if you look at a female you can be booked for eve teasing etc.
I think the female who threw the party should have been more careful with who she invited.
We just need more pubs in chennai, which will reduce the number of house parties. Why the hell cant we have stand alone pubs and restraunts serving booze?!?1?!
This whole male / female social engineering thing is something that cannot be done overnight or even in months and years, so i suggest this as an easier solution
@kuppumani
how do you define ‘pseud’?
To those who felt that the girl ‘invited’ trouble upon herself..
You truly risk being included in the category of ‘ I will rape a woman/ or will be alright with someone who rapes women if they are seen doing things the shouldn’t be doing. Don’t you find it disgusting that you still think it’s alright for men to booze but not ok for women o be doing the same thing…?? Such double standards!!! Grow up morons!! I do not advocate drinking for ANYBODY!! but this sort of sexist thinking just drives me up the wall!!
ah finally, the voice of sanity. thanks, manjula for so vociferously coming to my defence.
it is the inexplicable infiltration of the society by the nefarious means and purposes that is causing trouble. in a sexually repressive society the conundrum is always existing also. it is nor nri, or psued, nor akar or birbal, it is human repurcussions of concerned society in the meaning ful context of nefarious activities, isn’t it? so it is also the boozing and patricide only. let us unite to make mother india pure and socially reprehensible activities must dement.
ratan Jhaveri
The girl isnt to blame..but yes, perhaps she should have been more careful over her guest list..
And Suppu isnt bein very bright by thinkin that something was fishy when she threw a party when her folks werent around..Nobody in their right senses wd throw a booze party when their folks are at home..unless you are serving idlis and dosas, with badam milk for drinks..and even then, the smoking could be a problem.
As for women at office, i dont think men resent their presence. If only to get some variety from what they get at home..but yes, I dont think men (not just indian men) can easily digest a woman being better than them.
And parties at pubs are a bad idea..too damn expensive!
So should an Indian woman booze, definitely yes..if she wants to..should she throw a booze party..yes again..if she wants to..and only when her folks arent around..but should she invite people whom she doesnt really really trust? Not unless she desperately wants to. After all, we Indians still dont think many things are ok for women – no matter how tight our jeans are..or how good our English..
“most men feel that women should be at home”
This statement would be suitable 10 or 20 years before. Now not even in IT, women has established in almost half of the industries. Ya there are some incidents like this but that totally depends on personal behavior of both men and women
I agree with some points made here and disagree with others,all I can say is that people in India have too much freedom these days. When I come to Chennai each time I am appauled with the way girls behave here the culture of this country especially in metros. Even us NRI’s are shocked at what happens here people are more advanced than in western countries. Indian girls here have no shame and yet everyone comes to there defence and portrays them as saints which is rubbish. They would run around naked if they could get away with it.
and what is wrong with running around naked?
shainu, thanks for the comment. my point is if you cant invite your own colleagues whom you have to trust anyway at work to your own home, then who else is there to trust?
I also think it is the girl who is to be blamed.
And nobody cares what I think. Who cares.
This girl throws a ‘Night Party’ for the age group around 22. It is night party with booze and girls around. What else do you expect. You keep cotton and fire, next to each other with petrol and blame the cotton is burning.
1) Inviting for party is not wrong, inviting a late night party is wrong.
2) Inviting for late night party is not wrong, give them booze is wrong.
3) Inviting for late night party and giving them booze is not wrong, doing this when the parents are are out of town.
After doing all this DONT blame the guys.
This girl has purely invited the trouble herself.
Yes Rajesh I totally agree with you..
The girl should have hosted the party when her parents were around. The party should have been on a Sunday at around 4 PM. And, most importantly, she should have served Horlicks and Marie biscuits.
Do you think she should have played Western Classical Music to set the right mood? Noo..that would have gone against our culture too..so then she should have played Carnatic music.
Just because guys are guys, it doesnt mean we can go thrusting our manhood (pun not intended) upon every woman who we think is attractive. Even in the animal kingdom, a female can fight a male away if she isnt interested, if another male doesnt fight the contender of first..I guess it’s only humans where the males gang upon females in packs..So you cant blame this on man’s animal tendencies either..
@Nandhu – She definitely needs to pay more attention to her guest list..she didnt have to invite everyone..wasnt a wedding after all, was it :-D
Inviting for Party is not wrong;
Inviting for Late Night Party is also not wrong;
Inviting for Late Night Party and giving them
Booze too is not wrong;
Inviting for Party,it too for Late Night Party and giving them Boze too and the same during the parents are away is alo not wrong AT ALL;
WHAT IS WRONG’ is crying on A ‘SPILT MILK’ after doing all these ‘NOT WRONG THINGS’.
Inviting for Party is not wrong;
Inviting for Late Night Party is also not wrong;
Inviting for Late Night Party and giving them
Booze too is not wrong;
Inviting for Party,it too for Late Night Party and giving them Boze too and the same during the parents are away is alo not wrong AT ALL;
WHAT IS WRONG’ is crying on A ‘SPILT MILK’ after doing all these ‘NOT WRONG THINGS’.
The girl is no saint here….she gave the invite…and guys being guys tend to take these hints for some more fun. Not supporting the guys here, but if you put ur hand in fire….you wont feel chill….
In these days of high divorce rates and extremist feminism, one article that caught the eye was of Pooja, who walked semi-nude recently on the streets to protest against her in laws freedom.
The hurry to excercise her ‘right’ to jail her estranged husband and in-laws, and reluctance to even meet a marriage counsellor first, is the essence of modern day feminism.
The media too appeared to be in a hurry to label her in-laws as culprits, and the lady as ‘victim’. This is really ridiculous.
Men appear to be caught in the throes of feminism.
http://www.498a.org
http://www.mynation.net
“And, most importantly, she should have served Horlicks and Marie biscuits.”
Ha Ha Ha very well said, Shain,
To Suppumani, Kupumani, and all the others who are really upset with the woman for not having asked her parents permission first,
Was also wondering if you could tell me when it is that the woman can stop asking permission,
Is there an age limit that you guy’s have set?
Something beyond the legal age of eighteen?
Or are you saying, sorry we can never take decisions by ourselves, no matter how old we get because.. we are stupid maybe??
thanks Nandhu tho,
for exposing how sexist, our society still is.. Wish more people would comment on this topic to get a better idea of the tilt for and against this, woman’s place=kitchen, theory.
No modern girl of the sort that hosts mid night parties knows to cook! Some dont even go to the kitchen. Modern jobs and money have ensured that.
This is just popular myth, or even propaganda by some self-serving womens groups.
Actually modern BPO girls know more about condom vending machines than cooking!
By the way, it would come as a surprise to many feminists here that the same trouble-makers could spring up at a boys party. And what if the boy went to a police station? Would he have been given the same treatment as a girl by the police, with no ‘pro-meninist’ laws in place?
Why the hulla-bulla – just because a ‘lady’ is involved? This sort of ultra feminism is quite nauseating really!
Manjula,
The girls need not seek permission from their elders to give parties to their collegue, they are expected to knnow what is right and what is wrong; then why complaining with Police about their own collegues; after taking the decision eithr they should know how to handle it or to bear it; is it not shame to make complaints with Police about their own collegues;
Girls place need not be kitchen alone; well said; but it should not be PUB.
Manjula,
The girls need not seek permission from their elders to give parties to their collegue, they are expected to knnow what is right and what is wrong; then why complaining with Police about their own collegues; after taking the decision eithr they should know how to handle it or to bear it; is it not shame to make complaints with Police about their own collegues after inviting rhem for the dinner; she might have explained to them the next day how badly they behaved and then cut friendship with them; any how SUCH A MATURED LOT GOING TO POLICE AND WASHING THE DIRTY LINEN IN THE PUBLIC IS NOT AT ALL ADVISABLE;
Girls place need not be kitchen alone; well said; but it should not be PUB.
Manjula,
The girls need not seek permission from their elders to give parties to their collegue, they are expected to knnow what is right and what is wrong; then why complaining with Police about their own collegues; after taking the decision eithr they should know how to handle it or to bear it; is it not shame to make complaints with Police about their own collegues after inviting rhem for the dinner; she might have explained to them the next day how badly they behaved and then cut friendship with them; any how SUCH A MATURED LOT GOING TO POLICE AND WASHING THE DIRTY LINEN IN THE PUBLIC IS NOT AT ALL ADVISABLE;
Girls place need not be kitchen alone; well said; but it should not be A PUB.
As long as such abuses are not the normalcy and have very statistically low ocurrence, the subject is not so bothersome. While critique-ing we must not lose sight of numbers. No matter what the level of sophistication/open-ness in the society .. once you open the flame, you got to be prepared to draw heat. Chennai is not the same old traditional anymore. The discotheques, bars and such facilities while not dangerous are not conducive to perfect harmony either. When the ever-tricky fine balance is what is elusive and matter could soon go out-of-hand — one should rather stick to Old Time Guidelines.
1) Not a bad idea to booze, but tis’ a bad idea to booze at night in a party with lot of tempting girls around..
2) Not a bad idea to party, but tis’ a bad idea to party with not-so-trustworthy yuts..