Nano Nee Yes

The Nano is here.

And I am not surprised that the environmentalists don’t like it one bit. Because, once the car hits dealerships in Chennai, the following are very likely to happen.

1. Autorickshaws will become Nanorickshaws. They will even have (drum roll please) Nanometers. So they will probably be more precise (I mean 10 raised to the power -9 precise) than the current crop of meters, which are anything but.


2. Cyclerickshaws will also become Nanorickshaws.

3. Dominos, Pizza Hut, Pizza Corner and the rather yummy Pizzaurant will start to use Nanos for delivery. Today, with the exception of Pizzaurant, which has a sensible policy of not promising unrealistic delivery times, all the other pizza outlets hire accident causing road demons who drive two-wheelers at mach-12 to deliver my Veggie Supreme with extra olives.

4. The friendly neighbourhood vegetable seller will migrate to the Nanovandi.


5. The ubiquitous "Hot Soup" joints will become mobile on their spanking new Souper Nano.

6. The IT and BPO crowd that currently plagues the roads with two-wheels will start to plague the roads with 4-wheels.

7. Fishcarts will become Nanocarts.

8. Saravana Stores will introduce a new Nanoshop concept store where families in Nanos can drive through, pick up stuff they want and drive out. The business model will be built around the central fact that when people try to drive out into the maddening traffic at T-Nagar, they will change their minds and continue to shop a little bit more till the traffic outside lessens (by about 12 in the midnight)

9. Talking of traffic woes, the government is likely to introduce a new set of roads specially designed for Nanos. The gap in between railway tracks. Yes. A Nano will probably fit in. This should ease the burden on the roads.

10. Talking of railway tracks, given the pathetic frequency of MRTS trains, somebody is likely to hit upon the idea of stacking modified nanos (wheels modded to fit into broad gauge tracks) and starting a Nanopolitan Train Service that runs in between regular trains.

11. Since apartment builders rarely pay attention to the need for parking space, elevator companies like OTIS are likely to design a new, slightly larger elevator into which one can drive ones Nano and take it straight into ones home at the end of the day.

12. Small potti kadais will start to sell the Nano along with Panneer soda and murukku. "Thambi. Oru Nano, rendu tea, naalu murukku".


(Original Image credits – Jenskin Jeyamani [link])

While the car is actually designed to pollute less than a 2-wheeler, Chennaiites, don’t exactly have immaculate vehicle maintenance skills (involving once in a decade tuneups, Muthu Engine works and Ramar pillai fuel).

So I am not surprised that the environmentalists are worried.

13 Comments so far

  1. Giridhar (unregistered) on January 12th, 2008 @ 8:59 pm

    naaaNOOOOOOOO…. Nano must be banned in metros and cosmos and allowed only in non-metros.

  2. Ela (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 1:06 am

    funny post though….(guess u read every one of pratchet’s books, nakkal is always thookkal in ur posts!)

    Nano is really a nightmare for an environmentalist…or for that matter any right minded person who is concerned about the future, which in this matter not really very far away….but if one can be positive may be this could be changed for good in future….

    Although every one of us has the responsibility to leave this world in a atleast useful status for our future generation (given the fact that no other planet is habitable right now except Earth), we also cannot crush the aspiration of millions of people in the developing countires to have the first’s world living facilities….

    Anyway we also had blogs about whole families were dangerously clinging to two wheelers… Nano could help…..this is the first version…hope some serious and responsible research can come up with better environmentally friendly version….esp. with the biodiesel concept catching up…

  3. Mahesh Ramamurthy (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 1:21 am

    Comment 11 reminded me of yesteryear comedian JP Chandrababu.

    He had built his house with a ramp which led to the upper level bedroom. From gate to bedroom direct !.

  4. XMAN (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 4:01 am

    Any way you Call it …
    Na = No; no=NO; Nano= NO NO

    If U value your life, you shouldn’t be thinking
    about Nano.

    Nano, after a wreck can be carried in two plastic garbage bags. You need to compress and cremate the wreck ’cause you can’t get the dead or alive people out separately.

    If U want more eysores than the billboard, within a year I bet the National Holeways will be littered with the carcasses of Nano. It will cost more to drag the sorry thing to a place and try to fix it.

    Or by the time you comeback to retrieve it, you
    will find it totally stripped like the vultures
    mistook it for a dead calf.

    Good luck to the poor souls now they have to compete for the few bricks in the sidewalks
    with Nano..the nightmare from Tata!

    I am sure your resident Genius Partha will come
    with detailed analysis to point out its all
    part of Women’s Lib thingy..

  5. Parthasarathy (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 6:49 am

    There are some people who protest allowing the Nano on city roads. I am puzzled by this stand : why dont they ask for a ban on bigger cars instead – which not take more road space, but also transport less and pollute more per capita comparatively? Would nt That sound like a more SINCERE call to protect the environment? Why does the government have no policy on this expected on-slaught on the roads? The Chinese might have responded better.

    XMAN, No, the Nano is no gender-fighting territory. Thanks for the invitation though :)
    It would be easier, if something has to be in the news today, to be related to some ultra-feminist ( aka ‘lib’) issue. Thats because most new journos are not only females but also feminists.

  6. VAMSI VR (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 12:16 pm

    All the people who talk ill about NANO, are real Fools and surely fit for nothing…
    Every other news paper around world have appreciated this, and infact when there are so many car companies,like ford, honda….GM , who sell cars for last 100 years could not make it….
    we as a indian we should be proud that a indian company has done it

    Idiots, appreciate…something which we have done…great or atleast shut ur mouth!

  7. Maheshwaran S (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 6:46 pm

    It shouldn’t be called as Car. Please don’t insult cars by calling Nano a Car. Man $100,000+ BMWs are Cars and $2,500 is also named so?

    I’m wondering will I be able to sit inside it. Chevy’s kutti model couldn’t fit me ;-). Probably if I struggle to get into it, I’m afraid that I would break the new Plastic car.

    My roommate couldn’t drive any car, because he is tall. Probably Convertable will beter suit him ;-)

    Guess producers of Nano should have considered the people’s Height & Weight

    When considering the Junk Food eating next generation, probably Nano will not fit for people.
    And hence it’s won’t be a people’s car.

    Formula of Mahesh Ramamurthy is a punch.

  8. ela (unregistered) on January 13th, 2008 @ 11:06 pm

    Grrrrr…..Xman ….do u have to really do this….. Partha is a man of mission…u need not to remind him…..if there is even a slightest scent of femininism, Partha will, for sure, be there to fight against it…. u can very well count on him…

  9. Robin (unregistered) on January 14th, 2008 @ 12:13 pm – Read this article by a professor at IIM Calcutta to know why criticizing TATA Nano is wrong…

  10. Xman (unregistered) on January 14th, 2008 @ 10:18 pm

    When it comes to Safety..
    Propaganda from lesser gods are irrelevant.

    Show me the ‘crash test’ details from an
    independent organization.

    It is about how much Force this sorry thing
    can withstand.. Force= Mass x Acceleration.
    How many truck drivers you expect to slow
    down seeing Nano..

    India has over 90,000 human fatalities (road kills)
    a year.

    It is upto thinking indians to decide whether
    they want to increase the count.

  11. Parthasarathy (unregistered) on January 14th, 2008 @ 10:51 pm

    ELA, Do you know what feminism is?

  12. Manmadh (unregistered) on January 18th, 2008 @ 5:24 pm

    Very hilarious post. Like it or not, Nano is going to be a hit with the hoi polloi. It is gonna be the hero honda splendor of Indian car market.

  13. Manmadh (unregistered) on January 18th, 2008 @ 5:26 pm

    Very hilarious post. Like it or not, Nano is going to be a hit with the hoi polloi. It is gonna be the hero honda splendor of Indian car market.

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