Chennai’s sexual anxiety

Chenthil during a recent mini-Vodkathon tells me (and a gang of five) that Tamil men never get laid before marriage. They also lack the confidence to approach and flirt with girls – brash and brazen. Whether that is true or not, I don’t know. He doesn’t either, really speaking. But if was funny in a way that I can’t quite bring out in this blog post.

How many guys in Chennai actually have sex before marriage? The hurdles are many – moral, cultural, psychological and sexual. At the end of the day, we are probably the most sexually repressed metropolis in the country.

I am not talking of paid sex. I am talking of live-in relationships, casual sex, sex of the kind the Pope doesn’t recommend.

A recent post on Valentine’s Day had this blog’s ‘devoted’ commentators exchanging barbs. V-Day, one reader finds, promotes one-night stands. One group calls the other immoral and in turn gets called chauvinistic.

But how moral are we? Going by the crime reports I read in the paper, this is not a population that avoid extra marital sex. Husbands kill cheating wives and women with the help of their “illicit lovers” occasionally manage to murder a husband or two. If we constantly sleep outside marriage, why not sleep before it? I know the point of the report is the murder, but I can’t help thinking of all the instances when sex provoked it.

Tamil culture is not homogeneous if I know anything about it. Nothing in our history or literature suggests one way or the other.

I don’t know of many girls who want to get laid and are willing it to calling it by that name. Guys on the other hand want to, at least to be cool. But do they? Or do they remain sexually anxious until their marriage? What do you think?

59 Comments so far

  1. anantha (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 10:10 pm

    Anantha, where in the west, do you get seperate buses and trains for females, most of which are empty, and even ques seperate for females ( thankfully this is getting outdated )? If this is nt PAMPERING, what is?

    You are joking right? Did you even read what I said earlier about talking to women in my family/friends? If you haven’t, I suggest you do. And if you have, go read it again.

    And if you still have this question, go ask this new question to a woman you trust and like and respect. You dont have to come and repeat the answer here, for it seems that everyone else here knows what the answer it.

    But, if you don’t know a woman that fits that description, I have only pity to offer.

    I think the old saying about leading a horse to the water trough applies here. One can only do so much. I am out of here!

  2. Vishalakshi (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 11:24 pm

    haha! I will join in the chorus. Parthasarathy out of this blogs

  3. Nagaraj P (unregistered) on February 21st, 2008 @ 11:36 pm

    Wow wow! ladies . Parrot sarathy is convincing no one. Men love women of all kind- the feminists, docilists whatever. I find the spirited variety particularly worthy of respect. Poor P is just a self gratifying sucker. If it helps you have my vote. Out you sucker!

  4. Parthasarathy (unregistered) on February 22nd, 2008 @ 10:55 am

    The Chennai male still thinks of sex in terms of romance and lust. He is still in the days of Gemini Ganesan, while the female has moved on to higher ‘standards’ and western ‘styles’.

    It reminds me of Jaws, where the innocent play on the shallow waters, not realising the dangers the lurks closeby. Chennai males are oblivious to the dangers of ‘life after lust’.

    Males have always been known for their pampering of females. Witness our very own Taj Mahal. There are, in fact, males who are actually feminists full time, thinking they are morally superior since it is their job to protect the ‘weaker’ of the species.

    In those days, the female got lighter work at home, while the male slogged it out throughout the day to protect her. And household ‘chores’ that feminists scream about, were not comparitively what they are today.

    These days however, when BPO jobs have become the easier work, it is still the females who get preference there. If you are at an interview and the interviewer is male, it is the female who gets preference. God save you even if it is a female interviewer! Either way you are screwed! Nothing has changed, you might say. The males still do the dangerous physical, non-rewarding jobs – like guarding the frontiers.

    What has changed however, is that, with females getting more opportunities, they are walking out of marriages, as seen in the no-fault divorce states that I quoted. Blaming, like is their second nature, their spouses. And scorned scumbags like Renuka are seeing to it that young males get abused legally too. Feminism is not a cause, but certainly a catalyst. Financial incentives in the form of ‘maintainence’ makes you think that it is a MIRACLE that females want to stay within marriages if at all – as a status symbol, you might say!

    Not that marriage is an ideal solution. It was invented by religion and tradition and may die a natural death. But what revolts is the leverage that females seek to have at divorce.

    Chennai males are not immune from how feminism is changing society. Getting laid is NO big deal. And so is divorce. It is only when the law hits innocent people like you that you will wake up to the realities.

    Those who are convinced, please sign the petition.
    Those who are still not convinced however, may ponder over the timeless poem by Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984) … " First they came for the Jews…"

  5. sarath (unregistered) on February 22nd, 2008 @ 2:37 pm

    anyanty free sarvice co my mail

  6. vg shaekhar (unregistered) on February 22nd, 2008 @ 7:17 pm

    i want dating antys girls 9382114104

  7. Parthasarathy (unregistered) on February 23rd, 2008 @ 4:36 pm

    Anyone else wants an argument?

  8. parthatheloser (unregistered) on February 28th, 2008 @ 6:23 pm

    hehehe everyone has taken a bit of your ass already Partha paiya, where will you have the gas for another argument????????

  9. Rockr (unregistered) on November 8th, 2010 @ 7:17 pm

    who is ready to get laid with me in chennai???
    girls are u ready????

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