Chennai’s sexual anxiety
Chenthil during a recent mini-Vodkathon tells me (and a gang of five) that Tamil men never get laid before marriage. They also lack the confidence to approach and flirt with girls – brash and brazen. Whether that is true or not, I don’t know. He doesn’t either, really speaking. But if was funny in a way that I can’t quite bring out in this blog post.
How many guys in Chennai actually have sex before marriage? The hurdles are many – moral, cultural, psychological and sexual. At the end of the day, we are probably the most sexually repressed metropolis in the country.
I am not talking of paid sex. I am talking of live-in relationships, casual sex, sex of the kind the Pope doesn’t recommend.
A recent post on Valentine’s Day had this blog’s ‘devoted’ commentators exchanging barbs. V-Day, one reader finds, promotes one-night stands. One group calls the other immoral and in turn gets called chauvinistic.
But how moral are we? Going by the crime reports I read in the paper, this is not a population that avoid extra marital sex. Husbands kill cheating wives and women with the help of their “illicit lovers” occasionally manage to murder a husband or two. If we constantly sleep outside marriage, why not sleep before it? I know the point of the report is the murder, but I can’t help thinking of all the instances when sex provoked it.
Tamil culture is not homogeneous if I know anything about it. Nothing in our history or literature suggests one way or the other.
I don’t know of many girls who want to get laid and are willing it to calling it by that name. Guys on the other hand want to, at least to be cool. But do they? Or do they remain sexually anxious until their marriage? What do you think?